Smooth Operator

Let me tell you about the coolest guy I work with -- he's a legend in his own mind.  A self-proclaimed hero.

The rest of us know him as a giant bag of tools.

So Mr. Smooth has tried to foster the image of himself as a renaissance man -- he's one of those d-bags that knows more about anything than anyone else.  Not only is he a jack-of-all-trades, he's mastered them all.
 He's in his late 30's and recites the Dazed & Confused line "That's what I love about these high school girls man, I get older, they stay the same age" as a mantra and a way of life.  His estranged wife is 8 months pregnant with his second daughter, and his current girlfriend just graduated from high school last week.

I really don't like this guy.

So Mr. McBride, as I'll call him, also has the charming habit of being creepy and lecherous 24/7.  He'd hit on a nun that collapsed during Christmas Mass without a hint of shame.

There've been rumors about McBride chatting up prostitutes on duty for some time, but most of us dismissed the rumors, thinking that he wouldn't be dumb enough to do that.

It seems we were all wrong.

While on duty yesterday, he stopped and talked to a working girl while getting lunch.  An FPD Vice detective walked up and told both of them to take a hike.  McBride kinda blew him off, but the girl was smart and took the hint.  The detective then identified himself as a detective, and informed McBride that Vice was preparing to sweep the area and round up a bunch of pros and johns.  McBride finally wised up and left the area in his ambulance.

He was later sent to a medical aid call for an unknown man down.  He arrived to find a beaten prostitute (not the same girl from lunch) who didn't want transport to the hospital. He decided it would be a good idea to give her his number, and offered to treat her injuries himself when he got off duty.

And that's how Vice found him this morning -- shacked up with the girl at the local No-tell Motel. They both got arrested, and his career is likely completely done.  It sounds like the girl is a 16 year old runaway, and this waste of oxygen exploited this broken child for his own selfish gratification.

What a complete and total embarrassment to the entire public safety community.